I'm not making it up. Although to what that statement refers to im not quite sure. Seeing as I have no memory of what im not making up I can't confirm or deny its existance. Apart from the after effects that is.
Imagine the aftermath of an earthquake. Although only lasting a few minutes, the lasting damage and subsequent recovery takes a lot longer to do. And then sometimes the aftershocks are can be just as big and damaging as the original and you have to go back and start again with the recovery.
Its a pretty accurate description of my experience over the last few days. Although my earthquakes are fits and the aftershocks more fits. Everytime I think I am ok I have another and it puts me back to square one again.
Unfortunately I'v had to say I'm not making it up a lot over the last few days. The sad fact is that I have been taken to hospital twice, (once because I had been fitting for over five minutes) and on both occasions been told i am making it up. If this wasnt worrying enough as it is, to hear this from a nurse, who is meant to be responsible for my care is pretty distressing, and ironically probably causing it to happen again.
Unfortunately its not the first time iv been told this. The last time, it was a paramedic, back in 2004. He caused me to lose all my friends that I had just made at uni. Luckily this time my friends actually believe me, and so did the 2 paramedics and nurse that actually witnessed.
Yes, I have a condition known as non epileptic attack disorder. However, this is a significantly different condition to whats been happening over the last few days. During those episodes I usually black outcompletly and don't actually fit. And it doesn't usually happen in quick succession like these have been. Or leave me so exhausted I cant even walk across the room.
So yes, here I am completely unsure of whats actually going on, and with the hospital refusing to investigate or take me seriously I am completely stuck. The scary thing is if there is something physically wrong and they've missed it then it could end badly. To even consider the possibility that Im making it up would make me out to be a a very sick person, and probably something that should have been investigated in itself. By hey, I keep saying, I'm not making it up.
(for an update see here:)
http://allbigideas.blogspot.com/2012/06/i-am-really-not-making-it-up.html
I know someone who, for almost a decade, dealt with regular seizures. Constantly being told she didn't have epilepsy. She also had chronic fatigue caused by the frequent seizing.
ReplyDeleteAfter nearly 10 years she was diagnosed with epilepsy and given appropriate medication. Almost immediately she was well enough to work full time. Once she'd been seizure free for a year she was able to learn to drive and has now been driving for several years.