Have a Happy new year...

I want to share this, not because of my own part in it but because of the lovely response I got.

I was in town with my daughter today, just looking at the sales to see if there was anything worth having. Here in Sheffield we are feeling the brunt of the storms at the moment, not in flooding but it is cold and wet and today was really windy. Its certainly not a day to be out and we were shop hopping to keep warm.

I popped out of one shop and I passed a big issue seller. I didn't have cash on me but I apologised as I hurried past. He wished me a happy new year anyway to which I said you too, not really stopping to think, but more concerned about getting into the next shop out of the cold.

A few shops down was a bakers (they are everywhere in Sheffield by the way so its pretty easy to walk past one). It made me stop and think. I doubled back and asked the guy if he needed a drink or anything from the bakers. He starts putting his hand in his pocket asking if I could get him a sauasage roll, giving me a pound. I refused the money and asked him again for his drink of choice.

I came back to him with his sausage roll and hot drink. I went to hurry off again and he stopped me to reach into his bag. He gave me a christmas card. He was insistent and said he only gave these to special people and that I was to read the message and to keep the card special. I could tell he really meant it and was being sincere.

Here is the card.

On gender indentity, from the eyes of a ten month old (and her mum)

I could have cried in primark today. After a small (ok, massive) accident my lil one needed a new outfit. Shes currently in twelve to eighteen month clothes, which is of itself a challenge. Most baby clothes go up 12 months and most toddler clothes start at 18 months.

Anyway, that wasn't the problem. Rows upon rows of pretty dresses, flowers, bows and general fiddly and delicate clothes that were in various shades of pink invaded my eyes. Asking the sales assistant where the boys clothes were for 12-18 months, she shot me a look that said, but shes a girl but pointed out the small corner of "boys clothes".

I overheard a parent of a boy complaining. She said it wasnt fair that girls had all these clothes and boys had this corner (it doesn't change when they get older). I pointed out that it was equally unfair that girls had to wear pretty pink dresses all the time. The boys clothes were smaller versions of Dad and sometimes even grandad clothes, so very specifically "male".

I am not going to dress my baby girl in either mens or ladies clothes specifically. I am not making that choice. I want to dress her in baby clothes. Clothes that are suitable for her age and stage. At her age, where she is currently cruising around any piece of furniture that she can grasp, and crawling with varying degrees of speed and agility she needs clothes that arent going to be up at her waist after five minutes. Also, shes at the stage now where she happily grabs the fork or spoon full of food from your hand and rams it in to her mouth, sometimes hitting the inside. Shes nearly a toddler. She is discovering the world in her own very messy way. She will get muddy, she will get dirty, and her clothes will rip.

Just because she is a girl wont change that. She wont be sitting in her pushchair saying that crawling and walking and falling isnt for her because shes a young lady thank you very much. She wont be eating with a knife and fork and spoon with such elegance, because thats what young ladies do. She is, just like with any other baby a mess magnet.

As a parent, I need clothes that stand up to that assault. I need clothes that are allowed to get messy and not look like shes a ragamuffin. There is a time for pretty dresses, and there is a time for exploring the world. I dont want her clothes to stop her enjoyment or  restrict her. If you are lady, think about how easy it would be to crawl around in a dress. How uncomfy would it be? Its just not practical.

I have dungarees for her, I have jogging bottoms and pretty tops. Pretty tops that aren't white. Yes, she has some dresses, but she usually wears jeans underneath them. And yes, those jeans came from the "boys" section.