dwp logic

what does the dwp do when they don't like what you've written?
photocopy it so it says something else of course.
yup, where I once wrote that I can not safely do a task on the pip 3 form was photocopied onto their system to read that I can safely do it. Other vital words have been missed out too.
so, couple of questions here.
how did the health professional read my form if my form wasn't on the system correctly?
how can I trust a company that cant even photocopy a form correctly?

the end of another month.

I haven't posted about PIP recently, mainly because theres been very little to report and I have been coping by not coping, head down and ignoring it.

It seems apt to get my appeal pack today, the end of another month. It was the 1st April I put my mandatory reconsideration in, and it was the 1st July that the appeals service received my notice of appeal. Its been another month.

I am hopeful for the appeal. THats about all I can say.

Still with no income, still just living day to day. We have been very lucky to live close to a Netto, who recently announced they were closing. The half price sale has left us with enough tins and packets of food to survive for a couple of months more. For example, tins of potatoes that were already only 30p to start with we got for 15p.

multiple identities

Since April 11th I have been waiting, wishing hoping to reclaim my "disabled" identity back from the government who denied me it. Stuck in a parallel world, stuck in the gap of being before, not being currently but hoping to be again. Certainly in the governments eyes, because it means power, status and most importantly an income.

Still living that disabled identity everyday, being consciously aware of the barriers that grow bigger every day as a result of the denial of my identity, status, power and money. Not having the energy to fight them, even though I know if I don't fight now, the fight to reclaim will be harder once I have won. Which I will.

But I have to keep reminding myself of that fact. Looking over my various pieces of medical evidence which prove my disabled identity, but only the medical shadow, the mere footprint of its existence of its occupation of my whole self, not painting the whole picture. Not that the government want the whole picture, they are only interested in the deficit, the can't do, the poor little disabled person identity.

But the whole can't function without the shadow. The darkness and the light need to co-exist together. I need to have the shadow, the footprint to exist, even if just to fight against. To compete against. In order to be a Disabled Person, I must first be considered disabled.

Yesterday, as I simply entered a room I could feel the accelerated thud of my disabled academic identity flooding my body, and the thrill of this feeling invigorated me. I became alive again, or at least another identity reawakened within me and started thinking, making connections and engaging with rich and emotional discourse that touched my very soul and made it dance.

As I stepped out of the room at the end of the day and back on the train with my husband beside me, the energy disappeared from my body, the disabled identity reappearing as I lay shrivelled in my seat for the return home.

Today, as I sat in another room I became once again the disabled student. Discussing my barriers in context to study once again reminded me of the journey I had been on with that identity and how it had moudled and changed my very essence, giving rise to other, powerful identities of Disabled Person and Disabled Activist. I became excited to re visit and work with that identity in the coming months.

Tonight, as my daughter turned towards me, closed her eyes and wriggled her tired body as closely as she could into mine I became reminded of one of the most powerful and emotional identities I have, that of being a Mother.

Theorising normalcy and the mundane book review

I went to a conference yesterday where a book was launched which includes a chapter that I wrote. Its based on my undergraduate research project, and as is typical when I had a mic in front of me I completely forgot what I was going to say and said nothing in particular. So I thought I would try again using my blog, as I hope you'll agree if you read my book, my words are more eloquent written down.

Who is a normal student?

That was my starting point. I used a process of discourse analysis (which I like to describe as using text as a passive research participant) to discover how the universities use the language of their prospectuses to define their "perfect" or "normal" student. I found some amazing things about prospectuses which you can read more of in the chapter, but my favourite one was how all the institutions used the word you.

You is such a tiny word but yet was ascribed so much power in constructing the normal student. It was used as past, present and future and as plural and singular. You was used when it might have been better to say you all. It was used to homogenise groups and exclude others. You was the device that the institutions used to communicate directly and provocatively with their target audience.

I contextualise my findings with wider discourse that feeds into the higher education system such as the marketisation agenda and concepts such as a gatekeeper and create my own idea around spheres of normal.

I have used pictures to help illustrate my findings, because I found it helpful to see them and not just read about them, so I hope it helps clarify things.

I had hoped when i did my research originally that it would act as a springboard and a catalyst for others to research, mainly becuase its quite a small scale research project. Its really exciting because through this book I can envisage this happening even more so.

So, this is my chapter of this awesome book. Feel free to contact me on twitter @allbigideas for any questions you have and you can buy the book and the rest of the chapters from here: http://storefront.chester.ac.uk/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=12_14&products_id=626