Triggers in church.
Firstly, I have mixed feelings about trigger warnings in general. It's nice to get a warning of some difficult content, but equally it also assumes that someone else knows what could trigger me. I have this super amazing skill of being triggered by the most innocent of things (no seriously, it's… a challenge!). It can run the risk of a very serious issue being minimized into "a fad" or "trend". A trigger causes a very real, very severe reaction in me to certain stimuli. It can cause intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, panic attacks and even seizures.
I do not use this word lightly. Unfortunately, I can not completely protect myself from triggers, nor do I expect others to adapt their behaviours or words to attempt to accommodate them. I have a responsibility to manage those triggers as best as I can, by being aware of them, being aware of my reactions and managing them.
However, I do think that there are things that can be done in inclusive, caring communities such as churches to help accommodate those of us who may be vulnerable to triggers or sensitive to difficult discussion.
A church should be an uncomfortable place. It challenges my thinking and pushes me into having stronger beliefs by questioning and answering those beliefs. It's a place for me to feel safe enough to be stretched and feel uncomfortable. However, it is also a place of safety. It might be easier to think of it in stages or zones. A safety zone, a stretch zone of being uncomfortable, and then a panic zone where things no longer feel safe and feels dangerous (this is where triggers place me).
There is always a fine balance and a difficult balance between these zones, especially in diverse communities where everyone has different zonal tolerances, like a church.
In these spaces of both safety and stretch I think what is more important than having a warning is having a responsive and aware community of people who are sensitive to others and invested in each others needs and how to respond to them.
I may be an extreme example, but everyone has the ability to be pushed into panic mode and have their "thinking brain" switch off (panic mode transforms people into "caveman thinking" mode, fight, flight, freeze etc where "doing brains" take over).
I think it's equally important to create a space for anyone to say they found something difficult and not be judged for it and be given the space and care they need to process why they may have found it difficult. You don't have to have the same extreme reaction as me for those feelings to be any less valid.
How someone reacts to me when I am triggered into panic mode is absolutely as important if not more so than having a warning that I may end up there. The best way to react to anyone who is in panic mode is not to join in with the chaos but invite us back into your calm. Be my safe space. Remind my panicked brain that it is safe, that it is just being perhaps a bit over protective. bringing our brains back to calm zones is sometimes called grounding, but that sounds fancier than it sometimes needs to be.
Often, the simple act of being calm and inviting me back into your calmness through your tone and actions is enough for me to join you there. It doesn't take any special words or training. Just small talk about the weather or food or nice simple easy stuff can be enough to bring thinking brains back online.
I can then do the work I need to to be able to process why I got to panic in the first place.
I think it's also important to note here that it is also my responsibility to know when I am panicked or triggered. However, having a community of people who are understanding and accepting of difficult reactions means I am more likely and able to talk about it, as will others.
Knowing I'm not going to be dismissed or not believed means I will be able to reach out much easier for help. Knowing there's a group of people who understand and will accept that I am panicking creates a safe environment for more than just me, it creates it for everyone.
