Well, after 4 weeks of hell I have finally completed the dreaded ESA50. It is well and truely my own form, as I have printed out each answer and attached it to the relevant section (seeing as most of my replies are 3 pages long it was appropiate to do this i think). I have hopefully idiot (and DWP and ATOS) proofed it. I have written my name and national insurance number on each page, written on the form that I have attached my answer and written such helpful things as please open and please turn over on the relevant pages... but I am still fully expecting one of the answers that literally took blood sweat and tears to write to be lost somewhere along the way when its being read by multiple strangers in the next few weeks.
I have attached 5 pieces of medical evidence, I have pleaded and begged with them not to have a medical and why im a deserving candidate for the support group. I even used all those undisabled words such as suffer and cant and condition. Well, i had to play their game. But for the record, its experiences not sufferes, its despite of not cant and impairment not condition...
As its due in tomorrow I now have the interesting conundrum of trying to get it back to them. Helpfully, in the first letter they sent me, they enclosed an evenvelope. However, they seem to fail to comprehend that a disabled scrounger whose been given a form to detail how much they cant deal with paperwork and forms might lose this envelope and despite their helpful letter to me reminding me of the deadline last week, didnt enclose any hint of how to send it back, should i have lost the envelope.... which i have...
Cue another amuusing problem. The ESA50 experience has left me in extreme ammounts of distress and barely able to function over this last 4 weeks. So trying to get the information that I need to get this sent back is pretty impossible. The advice that the letter says is to simply ring them if you have any problems, or need an extension for that matter. When I am not well, I can't use the phone, which was surprise surprise a question on the old PCA (now gone from the ESA50). So the DWP are well aware that some people just cant use phones, and that this problem gets worse when a person is not well. Lets send the scrounger the most hellish paper based torture method imaginable and then force them to use the phone should they need any help. Im going to have to go in to their office to see them and hope they can help and not just point me in the direction of a phone...
I have tied their lovely form together with a lovely red ribbon for them, so I hope they appreicate that. It was tempting to put kisses on it, but I think that might have been pushing it. I should enclose an official looking letter from myself reminding them they have 4 weeks to make a decision on my claim now, see how that makes them feel... (and pigs will fly if i get something in 4 weeks, its taken them nearly 52 weeks to send me the form in the first place)
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