Thursday, 9 August 2012

..but I can't (or the after effects of the ESA50)

"I'm sorry I can't do that, I'm disabled."

Its a phrase I say all the time and I suspect many disabled people say it. It is an empowering and liberating experience to be able to state your limitations and be able to confidently assert the reasons why. It usually gets the desired effect, either by sheer shock value or being to scared to counteract it.

However, in my life the word cant has been equally disabling. Its as easy to say I can't as I can, and in all honesty its only been in this last 10 months that I have been saying, well maybe I can actually, despite my impairment being disabling. Being able to recognise my limitations has actually been liberating. The daily constant of you can't do this because of your impairment and the way society works slowly got to me and I started to believe it for myself. Its a big cycle, once you get into it, its easy to get other people to do it for you, or just not do it at all. The excuses become easier, and more believable, even realistic. I do it out of protection sometimes, so I wont get hurt.

In the last ten months things changed. I started to take a very slow step out of my comfort zone. I went to a hardest hit protest in Leeds. By myself. On a train. On a saturday. I felt like the character that Jim Carey played in Yes man. He goes to a motivational speaker who encourages everyone to change their lives by saying YES to everything, no matter the consequences. I was saying YES I can for the first time. I survived by taking photos and becoming a bit separate from it all. As a result of that I made a friend who introduced me to student activism, and I learnt the power of I can. I went on to do amazing things, and I am still doing things that I am scared of daily just to make sure I can still say yes, despite everyone and everything saying no. (I always was a bit of a rebel)

However, over the last 3 months since stopping university for the summer that I can't attitude has slipped back into my life, and now it feels like its here to stay again. What has made it become a permanent resident in my vocabulary has been the dreaded ESA50. Although the governments promise to change the system to look at what a person can do, it is inherinately going to be focuing on what a person can't do.

Having to write I can't do this because of this is really hard, because I have started to believe it. Now I am not saying I am lying on my form, because I genuinely can't do all the things I say I can't. However, because I am only writing about what I can't do, it puts it all into sharp focus that I can't. Even the things I can do aren't up to a normal persons standards. Normal people can catch a bus all the way into town without having to get off, but I can't. However, I have to remember that the fact that I am even willing to try is an achievement in itself.

But its hard. That constant nagging of I can't comes back, and then I start to not do things, because I can't and I can't actually tell anymore what I genuinely can't do, and what I am just saying I can't do because I am convincing myself that its beyond my capabilities. It is a really hard balancing act and its one that I was just about managing until my ESA50. To be able to come out of an I can't situation having worked out a way that I can is a real achievement for me, and one that I'm strugglnig with at the moment.

Of course, I can does come with  sacrifices. I went to a training day the other week in manchester. I went with people who know me, so the train wasn't so traumatic (and we had booked seats) but despite saying that I can get to the event, I only lasted until 3pm, and had to get a train home. I spent the next 5 days completely wiped out. But there I am again, using that as a reason not to try it again. As a disabled person things do cost. But, despite only being able to attend 2 thirds of the day I still say it was worth it. I just have to re find the attitude of can do, even in little things and slowly start to build back up to saying I can do, or how can I do to a lot more things.



Tuesday, 7 August 2012

friends plus

I don't have many friends. Thats not a cue to feel sorry for me though, I like it like this. The few good friends I have I know whats what with them, and I'm not forever second guessing if they still like me, I know they do, on the whole. However, recently I have noticed something about these friendships thats a bit weird and wanted to share and see if its a common thing?

I call it friends plus because as a disabled person, people never seem to be 'just' friends. Even its a stupid little thing like buying the drinks, there always seems to be that unwritten rule that being my friend involves a little bit extra. I don't expect it, or even demand it, it just seems to happen like that.

As time goes on and friendships develop and we get to know each other more, then so do the extra things that happen. I know that this happens in most friendships, but it seems different somehow as a disabled person. There are unwritten rules involved as people get to know me, and more importantly my limitations. I don't say that this is disabling, of course not, its enabling, but its just weird that there is some sort of care (in the professional sense) involved in all of my really good friendships. It places an extra expectation and an extra dimension onto the friendship.

Its similar to a loved one, like a family member or partner being expected to care for someone if they can no longer do it themselves, but in a less intense, obvious way. I hope its not, and I don't think it is a negative thing. If you like me you have to look after me a bit sometimes too is to me, like saying I accept all of you all of the time, regardless of what that means. I guess its just the way its done. If a friend expected me to be grateful for whatever it is they do for me then I think it would get tiresome, but with my friends helping me recover from a fit is just the same as sitting and chatting over a coffee. Its just a part of everyday life.

In some ways I am grateful that I am open about being disabled, because at least I know I have good friends and ones I can rely on. They also know they can rely on me, because of that openness. If they need me, they know I will help them out too, it goes both ways, just in a slightly different way sometimes.

It does affect the balance of control in a friendship though. Sometimes my friends are very much in control and being a care giver as oppose to a friend, and at times it is hard to think of yourself as any more than just a burden. But thats when my friends turn around and remind me that its just part of life, and the balance restores itself.

the boundaries are blurred with any friendship, but I really think that with a disabled person it can be more extreme and sometimes difficult to manage, but perhaps thats just me....

Thursday, 2 August 2012

todays big news...the government is listening...

Unless you dont happen to live on planet spartacus you have probably heard this story from Sue and Kaliyas blogs:

http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/guest-post-from-mind.html

http://diaryofabenefitscrounger.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/breaking-news-possible-new-wca.html

Basically, the DWP are going to work with some pretty big charities to improve the work capability assessment for those like me who are claiming ESA.

Now I haven't sat and looked at the descriptors in great detail, or even thought about how these changes might affect me, because I don't think that these are important at the moment. Until there is a need or a request for help and input the details are subject to change and improvement.

What I think is the most important thing is what this symbolises. This news goes as far as we are going to get to an apology. The DWP are saying these descriptors are not good enough and we need your help. That in itself is amazing. It was only january that spartacus offered the DWP their help in the form of a big document analyzing the new PIP and the welfare reform bill, and it was spectacularly rejected by the DWP, ironically making it more popular. It was only last month that the director of mind quit over not being listened to on this exact subject. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-17590426 .

I dont know how and I dont know why, but somehow the government are now listening to people about the new Employment and Support allowance and its problems and are making attempts to sort it out. I am cautiously optimistic about this, there is probably some reason behind it that wont be revealed, but at the moment it doesnt feel like it matters. The government is listenning. That has got to be cause for celebration, and a first.

Once the descriptors are scrutinized and hopefully improved we can worry about the application of  medicals and the practical elements of the benefit and how its administered.

Unfortunately ATOS are still there, and seems like they will be in the new PIP too. But if the descriptors are not flawed (or at least less flawed) then ATOS will have a whole lot less to hide behind and will be under alot more scrutiny by Spartacus and the government.

but yes, todays big news... the government is listening....

Tuesday, 31 July 2012

In defence of ATOS

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/jul/31/disabled-cuts-paralympic-games-atos?newsfeed=true

Now, before I get sent straight to the naughty step or similar, let me explain why I have found my self in the weird position of defending ATOS.

Last night, as we watched the 2 damming programmes about the work capability assessment, there was one key thing that kept screaming at me. ATOS are not the bad guys, well yes, they are bad and evil and whatnot but as dispatches showed last night they are simply enacting policies set out by governement.

ATOS are not medical experts, but IT experts. The government picked them because of their IT system and their promise of effeciency, and getting people off benefits, which was the governments target. At first it was wrapped up in the cosy ideology of getting disabled people into work, but now it has become more overtly about saving money.

The private companies are profiteering from peoples suffering, but it is the government that is letting them do it. If ATOS wasn't there, there would be hundreds of other companies to take their place, and potentially doing worse things to disabled people, but with more support from the government.

The government dont care who carries out their dirty work, whoevers cheapest and will save them the most money will do. The health professionals dont mind who employs them, they will still get paid. The problem has been and always will be the corrupt policies of Employment and Support Allowance that has ended up with 25% of ESA claimants that had been found fit to work are neither back in employment nor receiving benefits (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jul/31/disabled-people-benefits-panorama?CMP=twt_gu) and if we forget that then we are in danger of misdirecting our anger.

Targeting the paralymics and ATOS as the article at the top suggests is going to happen will, as far as i can see stop people like you and me from being able to access ATOS for our benefit. Now I know this might be a good thing, but any slowdown in my ESA process will only stress me more. I would like my decision ASAP and if I have a medical on the dates of the protests then I will not be impressed at an anti ATOS party being around to 'support' me. It will harm the reputation of ATOS and implicitly link them to the failures of the WCA, which is simply not true, this is government policy, not ATOS policy. If the government has any sense, they will simply turn around and give us what we want, IE. sacking ATOS, but simply replacing them with another private, profiteering company with the same aims and objectives and so the cycle begins again.

Dont you see? ATOS are not the problem here, the law and the whole system is the problem.


links related to #onthesick and #panorama.

hi.. keeping all the links together. first the links to the tv shows (probably only work for a while)

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/dispatches/episode-guide/series-117/episode-1
channel4 dispatches-britain on the sick

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b01lldrc/Panorama_Disabled_or_Faking_It/
bbc panorama - disabled or faking it

http://www.channel4.com/programmes/dispatches/articles/britain-on-the-sick-reporter-feature
Britain on the Sick: Reporter Feature

 http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/jul/27/disability-benefit-assessors-film?newsfeed=true
Atos assessors told to keep disability benefit approvals low, film suggests. (firday 27th july)
GP applied for job with Atos assessing whether benefit applicants were fit for work, and secretly filmed his training
 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2180833/Off-sick-decade--acne-cough-The-astonishing-cases-885-000-benefit-claimants.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
Off sick for a decade... with acne or a cough! The astonishing cases among 885,000 benefit claimants

 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9436969/Disability-tests-sending-sick-and-disabled-back-to-work.html 
Prof Malcolm Harrington, the government appointed adviser on testing welfare claimants, admitted the work fitness test was “patchy”.


 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2181480/Paralympics-just-genuinely-disabled-able-achieve-compared-scroungers.html
The Paralympics will show us just how much disabled people can achieve, and shame despicable benefits cheats


 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2180899/Flawed-disability-tests-send-genuinely-sick-unable-work.html?ito=feeds-newsxml
Flawed disability tests 'send those who are genuinely sick and unable back to work'

http://benefitscroungingscum.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/panorama-disabled-or-faking-it.html  Panorama has revealed evidence of disabled or sick people being cleared as fit to work by the Government’s Work Capability Assessment in spite of medical advice given by their own GPs.

 http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2012/jul/30/tv-review-panorama-disabled-faking?newsfeed=true  review of disabled or faking it.

http://oxfordstudent.com/2012/07/29/atos-healthcare-still-profiting-from-misery/ Whilst the Olympic opening ceremony, quite fairly, glorified our National Health Service, it is nonetheless worth remembering the real state of affairs for a significant number of Britain’s sick.

 http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/staggers/2012/07/work-capability-assessments-fightback  Encouraging news out of the High Court on Thursday for opponents of the loathed Atos' work capability assessments (WCAs) : the court granted permission to two disabled people for a judicial review to challenge the operation of WCAs.

  http://blogs.independent.co.uk/2012/07/31/benefits-and-targets-sickness-and-disability-are-not-the-same/ Benefits and targets: Sickness and disability are not the same

 http://www.publicfinance.co.uk/news/2012/07/government-urged-to-end-negative-rhetoric-on-benefit-claimants/ Government urged to end negative rhetoric on benefit claimants

 http://www.4rfv.co.uk/nationalnews.asp?id=148179#.UBftL3D8lKA.twitter  Disabled People Worry About ‘Benefit Scrounger’ Discrimination

 http://www.thebureauinvestigates.com/2012/07/31/tough-love-or-tough-luck-assessing-disability-benefits/ Tough love or tough luck: assessing disability benefits

 http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jul/31/disabled-people-benefits-panorama?CMP=twt_gu   Sick and disabled people are being pushed off benefits at any cost
As Panorama showed, the pressure on medical assessors to declare sickness benefits claimants fit for work is immense

 http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4463724/Lazy-benefit-cheats-give-people-like-me-a-bad-name.html
 Lazy benefit cheats give people like me a bad name

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2181365/Out--Boss-incapacity-benefit-crackdown-called-humanity.html
Out... Boss of incapacity benefit crackdown who called for more humanity

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-19048294  Benefit cheats 'colour attitudes to disabled people'
 http://www.morningstaronline.co.uk/news/content/view/full/122071 Pressure piles up on sick profiteers Atos

http://www.scope.org.uk/news/blogs/scope-blog/dispatches-wca scopes blog

http://benefitscroungingscum.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/q-when-is-target-not-target-when-its.html?m=1 when is a target not a target
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/steven-bick-doctor-claims-government-1172457#.UBZceS3hi1Q.twitter 'Driving disabled off benefits': Doctor claims Government has issued targets for 7 out of 8 to be reclassified as eligible for work

  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-19046447  Reviewer of fitness-to-work benefit tests to stand down

http://allbigideas.blogspot.com/2012/07/on-sick.html my review of on the sick

  http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2012/jul/31/disabled-cuts-paralympic-games-atos?newsfeed=true
Disabled anti-cuts campaigners take the fight to the Paralympic Games
Activists to protest against sponsorship of the Games by Atos, the private firm that carries out government fitness-for-work tests

http://www.newint.org/blog/2012/07/31/atos-stories-plays/
Raising the curtain on Atos

 http://www.mirror.co.uk/money/personal-finance/32-disability-benefit-claimants-die-1197304
 A company that tests the sick and disabled for benefits told dozens of people they were fit for work – shortly before they died.

 http://mikesivier.wordpress.com/2012/08/01/disability-benefits-whos-really-faking-it/
Earlier this week, both Channel 4 and the BBC gave us new documentaries about the way disabled people’s claims for state benefits are assessed. On Channel 4, Dispatches offered “Britain on the sick“, while the BBC’s Panorama was entitled “Disabled, or faking it?”. Both are available to watch on the web at the following addresses:

 http://blogs.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/2012/07/tough-love-and-fitness-to-work/
 By some quirk of planning, Channel 4 and BBC Two ended up showing two very similar programmes last night about the mess of the assessments that determine whether a sick or disabled person is able to work.

Monday, 30 July 2012

on the sick..

on the sick was a whirlwind of television drama, and hopefully the primetime exposure that spells the end of the work capability assessment as we know and dread today.

It focused on Dr Bick, who went undercover to become an atos assessor. He learnt, and exposed what activists have been saying for months and years. DWP is forcing people off sick benefits and using ATOS to do it.

I think thats the main point. This is not just ATOS, this isn't just a dodgy company out to get disabled people. This is a systemic and endemic attack on disabled people who are incapable of defending themselves against the reforms that were originally designed to support people into work, but as the tv showed tonight has turned into a farce, where only certain types of cancer are entitled to benefit, and if you can push a button, you can work.

What sort of country are we living in? Where people are considered fit to work if they are facing cancer, or severe life limiting illnesses. As the quote goes, the sign of a civilised society is how you support the most vunerable

Getting rid of ATOS will not work, reforming and tweaking the benefit will not work. Only a complete re think of the entire benefit itself will actually work.

As Sue Marsh said, How terminally ill do you have to be to be considered ill enough for benefit?

Lets hope this is the beginning of the end.

DWP strikes again... 77,000 drink and drugs addicts on disability benefits

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9436799/77000-drink-and-drugs-addicts-on-disability-benefits.html

as per usual the DWP have released damming figures attempting to justify the need for reform, and yet again, they have spectacularly failed to do so. In the above link a set of statistics have been cobbled together to claim that over 77,000 people claiming disability benefits because of drugs or alcohol.

Well, actually daily telegraph, i think you added up 2 and 2 and got 77,000. These are the stats they used, released by the DWP.

"34,410 people were receiving Incapacity Benefit because of drug or alcohol problems and another 21,890 are getting Employment Support Allowance, the new form of the same benefit"

"Another 21,350 received Disability Living Allowance."

These are 2 completely seperate benefits, payable for different things, and can be paid at the same time. DLA is non means tested, and payable whether a person is in work or not. Incapacity and ESA is an out of work benefit.

Further down the article they state that these figures are based on people whose primary conditions are drug or alcohol dependency, implying that the rest of us scroungers are downing drugs and drink to cope with our lives.

However, the DWP have seemingly made a number of errors with the release of these stats. 21,890 people are claiming ESA because of drink or drug dependency.That is to say that the new 'tougher' benefit tests, as administered by ATOS and shrouded in controversy are still classing drink and drug dependancy as serious enough for benefits. I say that carefully, not wanting to use deserving, but erring on the entitled to side.

So, either the DWP are stating that their own reforms are flawed because they have allowed these people with these impairments on to the benefit, or they are stating that drug and alchol dependancy IS serious enough to warrant entitlement to sickness benefit. Either way, its not really getting the message across they want is it?

my favourte bit of the article is this though...

"Iain Duncan Smith, the Work and Pensions Secretary, has said that lax checks have allowed many undeserving people to claim the benefit, and promised to overhaul it"

Last time I checked, benefits were not based on who deserved it, and who didnt, but on who actually needed it, and could prove they were entitled to it, via a set of stringent tests and evidence gathering.