Disabled and pregnancy. not 2 words you often hear together.

 I am disabled. I now have a new label to waft around. I am 'pregnant'. As any new Mum, I feel like I need a bit of help and advice, so I thought I would turn to amazon and find one of those nice fluffy mummy books about my situation. However, this was not to be.

So, in my curiosity I did a search on amazon. I typed in "disability" and "pregnancy". The first book looked promising, but then when I looked at it, the book was about what midwives might encounter with a disabled mother, and not just the "simple" stuff. By book number three amazon had moved on to disabled children and not disabled mothers. (although book 2 looks interesting its more of a story book than a fact based book).

I don't think such a book exists. It doesn't seem to be the norm to be disabled and pregnant (disabled people have sex?) Certainly my midwife seemed a bit stumped, but all credit to her I am being "properly" assessed for my needs whilst pregnant and when I have baby. I don't know how someone can look into a crystal ball but I am waiting to see on this one.

I have already found this to be a fascinating journey, and I am only a few weeks into it comparatively. My first observation was at my midwife appointment. Although things were geared to what I can do, inevitably there had to be some focus on what I can't do so that it can be ascertained what help I "might" need. Although I am used to this negativity when it comes to forms such as DLA it struck me that unlike other newly expectant mothers, my status was already being called into question, albeit in a 'supportive' disguise.

I then started to look at birth options. And then I stopped. Apparently, there is a normal way to give birth, and then by definition, an abnormal one. I will not let anyone else tell me what is normal and abnormal when it comes to my birth decisions. I will not be made to feel like a freak if for reasons of impairment I can not 'achieve' a normal birth. I am really quite angry about the language surrounding this. It has made me fearful of talking to midwives and other professionals when all the NHS guidelines frame a 'natural' birth as 'normal'. I have been forced to find other, more neutral information so I can make an informed decision about what I need to do to give birth in my situation. This is going to be another interesting thing to see how it pans out.

I then have a side observation. My DLA renewal forms don't ask if I am pregnant, all the other benefit forms I have filled in do. When ringing the DWP the person had clearly never been asked this before but couldn't quite answer the question because, well obviously pregnancy and birth is going to change things, but nothing i can predict.

So, yes, I am, pregnant. And I am disabled. As you can see from above, the way I like to cope with interesting (read difficult) situations is to analyse and academicise them. It gives me some distance, and hopefully provides some more interest to whats happening.