i am persona non grata in benefits eyes.

Last time I checked i was a real human. Not according to the benefits agency. This is pretty laughable if it wasn't true.

As of the 1st June my lovely fiance is living with me. We are currently holed up in a 1 bedroom flat with enough stuff for a two bedroom flat. But i'm sure we will get there with sorting ourselves. One of the main reasons why he is living with me before our wedding in august is because of the way the benefits system works (or doesn't).

I was on ESA, in the support group, but this was due to run out in august. In fact as he was moving in I received another ESA50. However, because I am entitled to the higher rate of care DLA he can claim carers allowance, and in turn income support. This is a couple claim, based very much on me as the cared for person.

I hate the language and suggestions of the way the benefits are set up. I am no longer anything bar the cared for person. Daniel is my carer. He is no longer my fiance, husband, partner. He is in law, my carer. This makes me feel extremely powerless and out of any control of the income we have. However, its a happy compromise becuase we both know this is just the way it has to be to get the money we need to live on and it is just benefit speak.

However, there are more serious consequences that I hadn't bargained for. I am not a person anymore. Despite the benefits being reliant on MY DLA and my status as a disabled person, and of course the fact that  I am named on the benefit, I can no longer talk to them about my benefits claim. It is completely dis empowering when I am forced to hand over the phone to my partner because (and I quote) "you don't have equal rights on the claim". As, in the eyes of the law I am no longer in receipt of means tested benefits I received a letter from the student loans company asking where my income is coming from. I presume that this could also cause complications with other secondary benefits of being on means tested benefits.

Which goes nicely round to my reason for the call. I was trying to get a proof of benefit letter for my income support claim. you know, with my name on it? Nope, we have to speak to your partner to get authorization to do that. All I can say is hurry up and get a job...

Just to add I read this article yesterday:  http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2013/jul/06/domestic-abusers-family-finances-new-universal-credit They are concerned about the impact of universal credit? what about the impact of the current system on abusive relationships? the couple claim is not equal now. I can't even speak to them without my partner. I am not named on my own benefit. Stuff the future, what about the now?